Perfect day…..

Today begins with Rain, cold wind, kids yelling…major headache from earache and fibro flare from hell….add a big dose of back pain from injury and u have the Perfect day…Perfect??? how in the world does perfect fit into that sentence?…Well, lets see…This morning thru all this I was able to wake up…see my family..talk to some friends (aww FB lol) and I am alive…That in a nutshell makes it a Perfect day! So I guess to me I need to see that each day is PERFECT in order to not focus on the negative.

I have so many blessings that if I were to take the time to write them all down I probably would never finish…I do each day try to find new things I am thankful for….even the smallest of things! The smallest thing in the world can be the greatest blessing! My niece came in my room today and said she will be sad when quilla dies (quialla being my 12 Chihuahua)…though quilla isnt ill she is getting older though she thinks she is puppy…however dont wake her up and put her out in the cold before noon or she will be grumpy!!!! But as my niece said this my little quilla stretched across the bed and made her little face look like a smile and I petted her little head…To me…a Blessing in a big way! She is such a joy to have always snuggled up and happy to be near!…See u may not realize u have as many blessing til u open your eyes to see them!

Talked to a friend and her dad is  a cancer survivor….how exciting to me to hear when someone says that…after losing my father, grandfather, uncle  and mother in law to cancer..I find knowing there are survivors a blessing…Knowing there is in fact Hope and Miracles…even if I think the word Cancer is the most evil word I know…Knowing her dads is a survivor I feel hopeful ….in knowing it can happen!

Litte blessing…they are what keep pushing us thru giving us hope and looking ahead. Having Fibromyalgia and living in chronic pain…feeling sick and being sick a lot can bring me down fast….Last night after getting home from the doctor I had said i was sick….My niece in turn said ‘Youre always sick”….I lashed out…not really mad at her saying it…but more mad because Yes I am always in pain…nothing I can do about it and so I get frustrated myself when someone points out hey that is nothing new with you!……I love her..she knows that…but the last thing someone living in chronic pain…and someone who has a low immune system ….I am always sick or in pain and I cant help it..cant fix it…no one can…and I try hard not to mention in front of family I dont feel well cause I am sure as much as it hurts me and annoys me..it can be hard on them to listen to and to handle….

I wish I never had to feel it…or be sick again!…or at least have a month free of all pain and being sick! would be the greatest blessing…..But for now I will take the little ones!…My grandbabies smile…her little giggles…My boys taking the time to be sure to tell me they love me each day….my family spending time together…Nature!!! sunsets and sunrise…a few moments of laughing….all the little things each day add up to huge wonderful Blessings!!!! so…..take time..look around what are your blessings the littlest to the largest..COUNT THEM! Take time to enjoy them and embrace them…

Focus on the good in life….Not the negative…and though I have my issues I try to smile through it all…and with all the my family and friends near I cant go a day without a smile on my face and love in my heart!!!…Leaning on me more each day…setting my sights on finding peace with things…and keeping the happiness inside….and letting it out to share with the world!!!!

Have a great day! watch for your blessings…see how many you can find!!!! God bless love ya all!!!!!

This is a PERFECT DAY!

Just another day!

A day in the life of Fibromyalgia…..To try to explain seems to get harder each time.  Always something new or worse or something that makes no sense at all when thinking of it. I hate even trying to explain to someone who has no clue at all what it is…but I always do my best.  So, if I begin with just today…I mean how I have been feeling since I have been up…wow…lots to tell

So, I had a hard night sleeping..seems when the cooler weather comes I have no luck getting warm.  I mean my skin my feel warm but i feel cold to the bone …like my bones are breaking from the inside out..I sleep for an hour only to wake up and have to change positions because I feel like where I am laying Is broken…ugh its the worst. So makes for a hard night of sleep…My family says i have been sleeping more sound but they arent watching each time i wake up and cry to roll over…so now I am awake and been up a few hours and I am so exhausted and I havent done a thing yet today!…but all the same so hard to keep my eyes open

My hands…wrists wow…i have no strength in them…just to hold a drink or my phone takes a lot of concentration they hurt so bad and sometimes i just drop stuff without warning. Makes using drinking bottles a much better idea lol…scares me when i think of holding my nieces baby…like today i wouldnt want to carry her….other days i am ok…all a bunch of junk when your trying to live life!

Back to the old noise and light sensitivity….too many different sounds makes me go insane! shew my sons basketball game is at a huge sports place where there are several courts and games buzzers and people talking everywhere…overload on my head…..It drives me crazy but I make i through to watch my Littleman shine on the court! Nothing better than seeing my boys happy!

Balance is all over the place yet again…I walk into the walls and doors lol….i will be bruised up and down my arms….just because i bounce off the walls lol….Low immune system…fun stuff get sick if someone looks at me! ….all the fun of fibro…

On a better note I have the best family and friends…..who make me smile each day and bring joy to my heart!….Life is good.  Happiness is what you make it….and mine comes from friends and family! and the beauty of life!…

Dont take a day or a moment for granted ..it can change in the blink of an eye…..enjoy where u are the best u can..life doesnt have to be perfect…lord knows mine is far from it …but each moment is a gift and the best it can be!…love ya guys have a great Sunday!!!!!  Keep smiling and looking ahead…

Friendship…….

Well, at this moment in my life that word has many meanings….I have recently learned the hard way what a friend isn’t….That being said I would rather look more at what it means to me to be a friend and to have the amazing friends I do have…So much in the world goes wrong not often enough do people share the good…the positive and what goes right in there day! and Yes here lately I have even been one of those sharing the bad…but you know we are all entitled…that is where friendship plays a huge roll.

I have one BFF that will forever be my sister.  Jen, you couldn’t ask for a better friend. She has never failed since we were kids to be there…no matter the time place or situation..if I need her she is by my side and I thank God for her everyday! Don’t see her near enough! I love ya sis! and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her either! That is what besties are for right??

So, my thought today was more about how friendships are made…I have made many new friends recently…all in different ways…But in the end each one of the are very special…I don’t care if I met them through another friend, if they are a neighbor I just made friends with, another childs parent…or someone I met on the computer…No matter the intro they are friends and I am blessed to have them in my life…for whatever the plan God places new people in our lives…whether its for a moment…a day…weeks months or years…..they are placed for a reason.

I love making new friends…to me each friend gives me new insight on life…a new outlook on what is going on and what the future can hold….I love the feeling of new positive energy that come from making a new friend that you have many things in common with.  I love my old friends…new friends…past friends…and future friends…God keeps blessing me and I will keeping thanking him!

So, friendship….what does it mean to you????…well to me…its about sharing ones thoughts and feelings with another…good times and bad times….smiling laughing…someone who will ask how you are and wait long enough to hear the answer…someone you can turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to vent to…people to enjoy this thing called life with….no matter the way they travel with us…..side by side or miles apart….But someone to embrace a new day with!….

My friends …..new and old know I have a big heart…and if you have been my friend for some time then you know that gets me in trouble a lot!…When I care I care with all I am …and when I am a friend I will do whatever I can do to brighten your day and make your journey through this life a bit better.

I am excited to see what each day brings….True happiness can be found in a new friendship…and in my old ones….sharing a smile ….a laugh….a hug…..a note…whatever it is…I look forward….and to those that have been placed in my life and are no longer here…I know there are reasons for that too…they are called  “Life Lessons”……and God promised to teach us…so I can say I have done a lot of learning too………

Now be sure to smile and make eye contact..greet people with kind words….and embrace Friendship!

You all know I love ya! Take care and God bless!…and yes this little blog was inspired by a new friend..who opened my eyes that there are still good people in this world! Thankful I am!

xoxoxo

 

The truth is..

Soul searching…What does it mean really…I even go as far to tell others to do a little soul searching and trust their heart to make the right decision.  What do I believe it is?…Well to me when I soul search..I go deep inside myself and try to literally feel what is in my heart.  What is it my gut is telling me about the situation..whatever it be.  Sit quietly or go for a walk, Just a Me and God sort of day. Reflection~ it has a big part in it to..I reflect over what has already come to surface from the situation…I mean it could be about anything from trying to sort out a relationship/friendship or what choices I am making towards my future…About if I want to send my kid to school or homeschool….It is simply searching what is in my heart soul and mind and yeah even my gut……

Recently I was sadly enough having to some soul searching that related to someone who I had at one time thought to be a very close friend.  It was one of those days where too many wrongs were stacking up against this so called friendship.  I had slowly started noticing lies and deception…and part of me was like  “Oh heck no wait a minute…Christy are you serious she is your friend..you love her..she is a part of your heart…???”  Then My gut told me ” oh yeah girl wake up! You have been played and used”…Wow talk about a day where you would rather crawl back in bed pull the blankets over my head and hide from my gut and my heart!…ughhhhhh

So there I sat…more and more thoughts and feelings building up and I talked to a few friends…then before I knew it many friends were sharing their same thoughts and issues…and BOOM it was like fireworks…no doubt in fact I had been used..lied to…cheated out of what I thought was a wonderful freiendship! In a matter of days I let go of what I had once thought to be a perfect friendship….and to know it really wasn’t literally breaks my heart!….. And for you who know me and are my real friends you know I really truly love my friends with all I am and there is nothing I wouldnt do for them….well she just used that to her advantage…and what a slap in the face….

Now, what most of you have never seen from me or heard from me is Anger….I am sorry I am human and it came out..I mean I was angry enough I cussed, I was ready to go slap someone ….and wow oh wow is that not who I am!!! So A little Soul searching ….yeah that is exactly what I am in need of!….I just need some time to sit and reflect on things inside a way of healing me mind body and soul……..I in fact “let go” of the anger….Yep I did it!…Not to say I still dont hurt or feel used…ugh that nasty old stuff isn’t just easily removed for good But I wont hold a grudge….Because I have to move on in my life to get to my happiness so I have well, simply Live and Learned as I say!…I won’t let it happen again if the Red flags are there.

So, when all this happened my Walls went up…I mean you would have to have a wrecking ball to break them down this time!….But what am I thinking??? God wouldn’t want my heart to turn so cold….Like a big hard rock inside weighing me down….So once again my heart is ready to Love with no exception…. OH but Wait!!!! That doesn’t mean I will be allowing her to move back into it again!….I since have learned she has hurt way to many for that to ever happen!!!! I will continue on my journey and not worry about her but I will not take her with me!…Shew, didn’t want you to think I had totally lost my mind!!!!!

I do however feel as though I can breathe again….and let me tell you it feels good!….I am still me I didn’t let it take away from that! I may be a bit more cautious but You know what maybe I need to be!…But it won’t break my smile or my stride! I have many happy days ahead and I am ready to enjoy and embrace each one!!!!

So Smile that smile and go face the day!!!! Have a wonderful day all!….and if you need it …go do some good old fashion Soul Searching! It heals the heart mind and soul and makes room for more love!

A day to remember…the good….the bad…it always has both….But always thankful!

So, Yesterday was our Fire departments annual Hog Roast…A day full of people watching and socializing! I look forward to it not just for the food but for the catching up in everyone’s lives.  Its a very close Department even if the guys don’t always like to admit it!.. My kids have grown up there and I have watched other kids grow up and some are now fireman themselves…The there are all the people in the community that come every year who are just as close.   This year seemed to be the largest turnout ever.  I think it was due to more word of mouth, radio time and maybe even better planning on events to go with it…Great job PCCFD you guys did a great job!!!!

For me it was a real fun, inspiring and even a time of emotions…First I had my oldest who is 13 get to be a part of the work this year.  The guys enlisted him to wear the Sparky the fire dog outfit….( very hot day of course they werent up to it but he jumped in head first) He did an amazing job and withstood the heat walking and hugging all the kids…he brought lots of personality to the dog!….kids were pulling his tail and wrapping around his legs and he loved every minute! What a beautiful thing to see as a mother…He even did an amazing job when his little brother wrapped himself around him…lol he had to be nice! He made his momma very proud.

One little girl was so touching…she had medical problems and I wasnt sure if my son realized this as she kept asking for him to come to her….But he knew.  later at home he said mom it was so sad she was going through so much….I said yeah sweetie I am not sure what was wrong…but her mother said she cant be in the sun…and her trachea was what mom was worried you would hit not noticing…but he had seen it…See the costume he was in he had to bend over and couldnt see well…and a lot of the little kids he was picking up…she was so tiny I was scared he would hurt her if he picked her up….but he saw and instead he squatted down in that bulky costume and spoke with her….Yeah that is my son…heart of gold…he kept going back to see her and I believe he made her day! She said he was the best dog ever!

Watching and talking with all the fireman makes me laugh they are comical and always making everyone laugh and feel at home being there. We have the young newcomers and the ones who have been there for some time..and then the older retired fireman…But I love them all the same!….This year they lost one of their own….and they have all been mourning his death….and his family came….The love poured from all the hearts there….hugs….tears….most of all tons of love and support…This is when you know that its more than a job…Its family….Not a dry eye in the house at some point…..

We had kids everywhere….screaming running playing! our future fireman!!! and women!….Yesterday meant a lot to me…Not just these things…But just being there…watching the children “Light up” when the Evac helicopter came in for a landing…..adults and children alike thanking them for all they do……Fireman passing on traits to the new fireman how they worked as a team to get things done and run so smooth…all pitching in….beautiful team effort…

Then after the Hog roast was over…..seems reality had to come in to play….Home for a bit then their towns drop….The reason they are there…What they do best…yet what we all always pray wont happen…A huge structure fire…These men who had worked all day to give the families and community a day to remember had to pack into a truck and drive just across the street and work a structure fire….They had already had enough heat and work for the day…but its their job…they go.  Truck after truck arrived….men worked this fire…people and families who lived there watching….men getting over heated….But several units were burning….and they worked until they got the job done….In reality that is what they do….I hope they had many thank you’s that they deserve….and I know they had many prayers…..but again….as they worked…lots of people watching going on…..

Many tend to remember what fireman do…while they are doing it….but forgotten all too often when its done….Me I never forget…My childrens father does this every third day…For them its life….I am glad they understand how one minute it can change from fun to work….Today I am proud of the PCCFD….for providing their community with a day of fun…and for jumping in and saving lives and homes…..God Bless you all and I pray you all have a quiet and relaxing Sunday! Much deserved!

 

Reflection……….ahhh yeah!

Time for me…sitting here the fan blowing….just thinking and looking back on this crazy day.  Reflection is one of the best ways to remember the lesson you learned each day.  Why is it people dont take time to do this??? I dont get it!…I like to have like a mini conversation with myself lol…Yep those that know me well know I talk to myself a lot! But usually its about important things! No one wants to listen to my every thought… So I talk to me! After all Learning to lean on me is the blog I had started when I was doing just that…I was talking to myself yet putting it in a blog!

Ok before you think I am a nut…I must say I have to talk to myself a lot in order to remember things..this darn Fibro fog tends to really mess with the memory and before I know it a thought will simply jump right out of my head before I get it put down! I enjoy looking back at my day each night…and thinking about what I did…what I didnt do and what I could have done that I will do tomorrow…..if there is in fact a tomorrow!….Today I am not so happy reflecting….I realize I let anger consume me a lot today…One thing that I usually never do!…I let someone else control my thoughts and emotions.  To me that is very sad and I regret it!…Yep you heard it from me I Regret something!….I usually say you should never regret…even if its something bad it taught you a lesson!

I did learn from today and I know that I will not let this happen again….But its time lost!…..Back to focusing on life…happy thoughts tranquil moments…things that bring me smiles….I can almost picture my missed sunrise…..I hear the giggles of my boys…( Ha that is right they are giggling not fighting!) I watched my niece and listened to her talk about all her plans for her baby when it finally is born……I talked with friends who made me smile ….and I heard from a family member who brought me back to reality about why family is so important….I even made a wish today…(You do realize that is part of keeping your youth…making a wish makes you feel like a kid again…believing and hoping that it will come true…feels amazing!) I am looking forward NOT behind…..That would be why our eyes are placed in the front of our heads!…

I may be a dreamer….I BELIEVE….I HAVE FAITH…..I make WISHES!….and Laugh smile and love with all that I am!….When it comes to these things…I cant put in just a little effort I give with all I am!….My client who Passed…Miss Jane Hinchman…She said she never met anyone quite like me!….and she meant it in a good way!…The woman was my heart….she was my 94 yr old best friend!….a piece of me left with her!…..She taught me a bit about life….Live the way you want…not the way others believe you should!…She taught me to notice that my views on life are different but to be sure to share them with others every chance I could….and that I do!

If your my friend..then your my friend for a reason..I will be there to help encourage you along this road called life….and Same goes for my family…..Just never mistake my love for weakness …or something you can take advantage of….Today I have learned that lesson on how to let go of those who hurt……..I love you guys!….

So Back to being my old self!!!!! Get your butts up look at what you have around you…the beauty in the sky…a butterfly…the hug of your child the love of your family and friends…the hope for a better tomorrow….and take it in!….Never let go of a dream….chase it…but never forget to appreciate all you have around you before your eyes…and embrace it!….Give thanks…always smile!!!! and most of all always Love!!!!!

God bless! Much love!

Things change in the blink of an eye………….

Been doing pretty good….Fibro in check for the most part since I had my surgery…a little flare here and there but nothing I couldnt handle…back injury and foot surgery …most of the pain has been focused there the past few months….So I spent the day in the sun the last two days…felt so good for my fibro the sun on my skin…Not to mention the fact that it was so much fun to be able to go swim with my boys…we had so much fun!!! Great two days of family bonding!…I have missed out so much this summer having sugery and not being out with my kids…..So the family time was well worth it!….

Last night after a few hours of being back inside I started aching and hurting all over…the my lymph nodes were swollen and I felt sick…one check in the mirror was enough to put fear in me…I had my mylar rash appear again …not quite as dark as last year but its there….so a quick check with a dear friend explaining how I felt…and she said the same thing that was hiding in  back of my mind….the word LUPUS….ugh

My friend has helped me thru my fibro for the last year…and I had been tested for the lupus a year ago…but I was told i could test negative several times before showing a positive…so my friend said I should be tested again while I am in a flare up…..I knew before I asked her….She has fibro and lupus …and CFS ..so she has a lot of knowledge for me….I text her again today and I am preparing myself for it…..But in back of my head its the Why???…..the one thing I love is my outside time! The sun…the beauty the feel….and to know that this could be why I am so sick today makes me so sad…Because its the one thing that even on the worst day makes me feel better is to be out in the sun!

Today has been a learning day…research reading preparing and trying so hard to focus on anything BUT the Pain!….I talk all the times of the ups and downs and pains of fibro…and how I work so hard to find things to think about other than the pain….One thing that helps the most is the sun the beauty outside…so now…where will I focus…Today I realized…ok so what if its Lupus..I am not letting Fibro own me so I wont let Lupus own me either!..

I can enjoy the beauty of the outdoors…maybe I have to swim in the early mornings or evening…and Night swimming is so much fun….I can see the beauty…Just not in the worst part of the day for the sun…nothing during 10-4…and sunblock…that isnt so bad…adjusting to it will be a bit harder but I can do it….I am alive…I am with my family and friends and I can do it…..

Now…..I will focus on learning how and what it takes to handle the pain sickness and fatigue..cause today is the worst I can remember ever feeling…there is not one part of me that doesnt hurt in some way…and I feel sick from the swollen glands…so now I will have to learn how to focus past this pain today…each day as it comes..the good the bad….But honestly dont we all have something we have to learn to handle and focus on something else to help us feel better???….I guess this is just no different….

I dont do the why me….cause with that only becomes the reverse question …why Not me???….I think God knows what he is doing….I have my good and bad just like everyone else…and most importantly I can enjoy life still….and i am alive…So if in fact my doctor comes up with the diagnosis of lupus…I will take it in stride…

However it doesnt mean I wont cry …..or moan and groan from the pain….and pray for it to go away….It just means life can always be worse so I wont be angry about it….I always know life could be far worse and I am blessed with what I am and all I have….I am still me and pain or no pain always will be….

one last note…..Danaye you have been my rock for the past year…helping me every step of the way..and I know how strong you are so I just hope I can be as strong….God knew what he was doing putting you in my life!….Thank you!!! I love you dearly!  If I have to learn a new way of life…I know u will be right there walking me thru it!!!!!

To all my friends and family..never ever forget how blessed u are …the good and the bad…its all what makes u you!….

Who I am…..<3

Its been several weeks since I have last written on my blog….maybe that is good.  I have had so many thoughts and emotions I probably couldn’t have kept up with them anyways….Since my back injury and ankle surgery I have been left to sit and do more soul searching and reflecting then I have ever done in my life….and you know what I enjoyed getting back in touch with who I am…..I mean who I really am…not who someone wants me to be.  I think I am tired of trying to fit a mold of what everyone else in my life wants…I have been learning this past year to stand up for myself more…and it feels good…

So, question you may ask now is …ok Christy who are you???? and let me tell you that is by far a loaded question!!!!! But I will tell you…and in more ways then you probably want to know!!!! Because now I know all the parts that make me me!!!!!…….Lets see this should be fun! I have found words that relate to who I am exactly…..I may forget one or two but that will give me another reason to write again…..and I know you may ask yourself why is this so important ????…..and I can tell you its important to me to figure out who it is that I am ….The REAL me…so that I can move forward my next 40 years and live the life I was meant to live…one full of happiness, laughter smiles….and lots of love and security!…..ok lets see if I can find meaning to who I am …here we go!

First and foremost I am Gods child…..Most important thing to be!

The first word that I think of almost everyday is Smile…I love to smile…be happy..laugh…and not some fake smile I love to smile like it was worth all the money in the world!…..the next word would be loving…I love life ..people…the beauty of the world that God created and I do this with all I am!…I embrace others I try to help others how I can…and I am very passionate about it! Now lets just list words…hmmmm….

Imperfect!….Impatient….Inspirational….spiritual….motivated..determined…Anxious…Friendly….Happy….wounded…..creative ….motherly……worrier ..insecure.fearful…betrayed..hopeful….Oh yeah these are just a couple but you get where I am going….Words…they make up who we are…there are bits and pieces of things that make up who I really am………Now….what do you see I am???? You only see what I choose to share which is different with each individual…I believe this happens through our experiences with each person….I mean if someone is kind to me I am sure they will see all the good in me…because it will shine through….and if someone is mean to me I am sure they will see the wounded hurt feelings I have…fear….insecurity…..That is just the normal part of life!!!! We share what the other person brings out in us….But think about it…we all have the possibilities to be the same person…..because all of the words above we all have…..

So, What makes us all different…is how it comes out of us…how we use it…and how we apply it to our daily living…..So, What I have found is the REAL me…is also a lot of what we all are…But we have to use each strength and weakness and mold it our own way and share it with others..to form who we are…..So what do we want others to see????.

Again this sounds like a roller coaster!!!!~~~~ So here it is straight up! I am me..I try to let the good shine through for all to see yet there are others who bring it out naturally…..Those people that do this are people who God has brought into my life for that sole reason The see the good acknowledge it yet they want to hear the bad and help hold my hand through the storm…and help me to find my way back to the peace and joy of life……they are the ones who see through the window to my heart…and soul of who I am …they dont need to ask to see it God has made this a clear view for them..They accept who I am and never once ask me to change…they bring me HOPE…give me Strength …Peace…Complete me!….They have been scattered throughout my life and are few but I am blessed and thankful and well aware of who they are!……

Yeah I know I am supposed to be saying who I am…Yet still I am taking about how others see me!…Isn’t that what we all do..we want to know who we are yet we feel we can only be what others see????? Well I guess that is what started my rant on all of this…I DON’T WANT TO BE WHO OTHERS WANT OR SEE ME …..I want to be ME….In this world that may not be possible….because we are formed in others minds of who we are….

So….I am blessed thankful even for those few in our lives who know exactly who we are…The good the bad …..the mistakes ….and they love us…and see us just as we want to be seen!!!!!

I am me…no longer the old me…who would let others tell me who I am…I am shinning through to the ones who care to see Me The Real me!…..I am far from Perfect …yet I am perfectly happy with who I am inside and out!….God will keep bringing others to see through my window….right to my heart and soul…I hope everyone recognizes the ones who can see theirs…It sure makes a difference once you stop and think about it …..think about who knows the real you and still loves you…is always there….and accepts and doesnt try to change……Gods Blessings….I know mine!!!! and keep finding more!

I Promise my next blog wont be so much brain work!!!! xoxo

Finding out who your friends are….

I sit and ponder this at times…Because I am told we have real friends, fake friends and computer friends. Its sort of strange to me.  I think someone who takes the time to be there for you, talk to you through the hard times and the good and really cares is a friend…At the same time I have found that some of the people who say things about your friends are really just not your friends at all…..

I am one that if your my friend and really need me I will be there however I can..Help you along the road called life and do what I can to be sure to put a smile on your face. I believe we all need to laugh and smile to get through this crazy little thing called life. I have experienced enough loss ..hurt and anger for a lifetime…I now only promise to allow myself to smile laugh and enjoy!!!! Many of my friends are going through such hard times that I find I pray a lot harder than ever before…not that I didnt pray before but my knees have never had some much work!

I am having such a hard time when I think about how others treat one another…especially when they dont deserve to be treated bad….I guess to me it seems cruel.  I may be sort of one of a kind thinking here but I think people every race, every size, every anything need the respect and love as much as anyone else…and deserve to be happy…I am not sure who put some people in charge of saying who deserves what!!!! But I have a few so called friends that believe its their world and if they dont like someone or their belief that its their right to put them down…wow really??? are we not all adults?? Why judge?? We all at one time or another have made mistakes but to hold it above their heads isnt right…God forgives why do you have the right to judge?? Funny isnt it how some things never change!!!

Life should be enjoyed and embraced with a smile for each new day…and no one should take away someone elses smile but yet they should do everything they can to put one on anothers face!!!! Be Kind to all, Not just to some!!!!! If you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all!!! Wow old school rules have never rang so loud for some!!

I pick my friends not anyone else I am 40 years old I think I can choose!!!!  To all my friends I love you each and every one not for what you are to someone else but for what you are to  me! So If you dont like someone I am friends with this is your right but if it changes how you feel about me that is also your right…but really it should be about the relationship you and i have…if we get along then what is the problem!!! To my real true friends who love me no matter what or who I am friends with Thank you for listening to my ramble =) You know I enjoy our friendship!!!!!

Life is amazing if you let it be!!!! Don’t waste time with anger and sadness worry about making life happy! You only have one chance!!!!

xoxoxo

Finding my way….

Good Morning! Wow it has been some time since I have written a blog…so many thoughts and things running through my head I cant put them all together…So this may in fact be a ramble session! Hope you can follow! First of all I realize why I love and hate spring so much…The storms have kept my fibro in high gear…and I am feeling it head to toe..and add to that my new back injury in January and a hurt ankle…I find I hurt all over and then some.

Recently I had a friends daughter have surgery to remove a tumor from her cervical spine…and the next day this 22 year old beautiful mother of a one and half year old boy is now left Paralyzed…So somehow this has left me thinking and knowing….I am having a hard road and I may feel the pain…but the pain I feel is nothing compared to the pain my heart and mind feel for my friend and her daughter…Life just changed..I cry still cause i dont feel good that is only natural..but yet with every tear I then see that beautiful smile Ashlie wears even with all she is going through…then I picture he sweet momma who I do adore and love with all my heart…and somehow some way this just makes everything ok…I know I can get through whatever life brings and I know I can fight just as hard as Ashlie does! What a true inspiration she is to me!!!

Life is never what we ask it to be…its what we get…So we have to put a smile on face the day and work as hard as we can to make it a life worth remembering! I have friends I have learned who just make me smile and feel good just by being them! A smile from them goes a long long way! what a blessing!

So Honestly about this Fibro….weather is so crazy how it plays a role in the way you feel…I mean in the winter its a deep ache and i cant get warm enough on my feet and hands….then spring rolls in and the storms…everything I have hurts and i pray the rain and storms that i enjoy so much would just go away!!! and already the humidity has made it to where you cant touch my skin or the nerves go nuts and create such pain….I have decided the few short weeks of fall are the best days of the year!!! But hey its life…I have little pebbles in my way…not mountains!

I feel like smiling and never want to see a frown or know what it means to be sad or hurt again!!!! However Its life…and again we get through it…everyone has their pains, scars, mistakes,pebbles in the road!…and If we all choose to get through it together..well then that we will do and do it with a smile!!! I find more reasons to smile each day then to frown….

Blessed I am to have great friends and family…and ones who truly understand when I smile for real and when I smile to get through!!! But either way they know I will smile!!!! Love ya guys!!!!!

God Bless!!!! and yes it was a ramble!!!